1 year

Its been one year since I've been living in this tiny little place of a home. As I look around I realize we have made it home. Its the tiniest house I've ever been in, I think. Its perfect. I'm thinking of planting a garden outside. I have all the seeds ready, and compost is done ready to go, but I need to get moving on digging up the rocks. Soon.

Life is seriously amazing. God is gracious as always and each day I'm reminded about how much I need Him. I hope I never feel like I have it all together. Growth is reliant upon meekness, I think.

Recently, I had the honor of having a friend come stay with me for a week. I agreed to have her stay in my house and I had never met her! A facebook connection from New Zealand, believe it or not. I was so blessed, we had some awesome time together. She and her companion were huge blessings to me while they were here. They are missionaries serving in Central America right now...and they helped fan an already burning flame for missions in my heart. Stay tuned for whats to come with Blah Blah Momma & GG in the distant future.

School is going great! I've excelled in all of my classes. Online school is the way to go for me! I also have a new job teaching art classes to toddlers and elementary children. Its an awesome job. My other job is still going great and I'm quite busy preparing for VBS this summer. I can't wait. I was born to do stuff like this.

Is this what it feels like...?

To be an adult? Its not even 8pm here on the west coast and I am just about ready to head to bed! I can barely keep my eyes propped open. Today was quite the long day. I watched my niece and my nephew for a few hours and tried to battle the sleep while they watched this horrible "3D" movie on the television. It was giving me such a head ache, I thought "this can't be healthy". I dont know where they picked up that movie or those horrid glasses.

Anyhoo, I think tomorrow Andrew is going to come down in the morning and we will try to get out and watch a movie! Woo! I've been wanting to go see a movie now for a while...the last couple that I've watched have been Fs for me, so I'm hoping for some feel good and maybe even a romance..any suggestions?

Today was a great day at work, we got into a a pretty interesting discussion of Romans 11. Very very interesting to say the least. Its astounding how much you can study about four tiny little words in a verse. Anyway, if you ever read Romans 11 let me know what you think. I'd be curious to see.

I think I'm going to spend a little time reading tonight. I may pick up a new book that a friend suggested to me, and if that goes well I may give a review here. This book is supposed to be really amazing. I'll let you know. If not, I may finish up Loren Cunningham's "Is that Really You God?" ...its about time I finished it.

Well..ciao for now! Peace & Love.

6 months later....

Hah. Well, helllllooo blogger.

So, Monday I started up at HIU's school of Professional Studies, school in full blast. I'm actually very stoked and I'll be done January 2, 2012. For some reason two years seems like a heart beat away to me.

Time flies.

GG and I have been at our place for 8 months now, seems like yesterday. Its cozy here and it feels like home for us. The shower doesn't stay hot for very long and we have no closet space...but we are blessed in abundance.

I've been reading a lot lately. Currently I'm juggling "Is that really you God?" By Loren Cunningham and "The 5 Love Languages of Children"....been doing a lot of studying in general.

One of my first papers due the end of this week is on postmodern/post christian society in America. One of my favorite subjects to babble on and on about, so great!

I believe that these next two years that pass by in the blink of an eye will be the beginning of something brand new. Just sayin'.

Anyway, Just checkin in blogger...just thought I should let you know that life is beyond good. 

Well, we've almost hit a two year mark

Wow, GG is almost 2. Less than two weeks away actually. She is becoming a little person right before my eyes...and she is one feisty mamasita. These past two years have flown by and I am amazed at how our lives have changed since day one. I remember her being so tiny, and me feeling so "new" at the mom thing. I am totally a mommy now and it blows me away. My life is so full with her in it and I love that little munchkin more than my own life.

Work at the church is going well. This summer definitely kept me busy with VBS and all that. It was a total blast, by the way! GG started day care and then I pulled her out, I just can't stand to be away from her for too long. ;) But she will officially be starting preschool very soon!

There is a 'special someone' in my life now, whom I think the world of. I must say I feel incredibly blessed  by all of the wonderful people in my life.

And just when I thought a new school was on the horizon, I am back at the JC finishing up my AA in Child Development. I've found that no matter where I end up in life, I will always find joy in working with children. So, there it is. After this semester I'll be done...for now anyhow.

I'll make sure to be back here more often...life changes too quickly.

Long time no type

I was about to send in my resignation letter to blogger and then I realized I love blogging, and won't let a little dry spell make me quit!

The biggest news around these parts is that as of May 1st, GG and I will be moving in to our first place together. Okay...its not a HUGE move. Actually, its on the same property and I'll still be close enough to grab leftovers from mom's house or grandma's house. BUT. It is a place all our own. We can finally begin to feel like our own family.

I think some people don't realize that we are a FAMILY. I'm not just a single mom. I have a family. Its small. But I do have one. And its going to feel great to be in a place all our own.

Other than that awesome news, the semester is almost over. (thank GOD!) and I'm in the process of applying to an online Christian University. Its actually where I started (at the traditional undergrad) and then went back to the JC to finish up some stuff, now I'll be completing my degree online throught their School of Professional Studies. I have to say, I'm so STOKED. Its going to be great to be able to have a more open schedule and spend more time with my Gorgeous Girl. <3

I'm excited about the future.

Ah, its been forever.

My dear blog friends. I'm so sorry to say I haven't updated my little bloggy in so long! Here's  a quick update.

Life is Amazing.
GG has 2 more teeth.
GG says between 20-30 words now.
We have entered the world of cloth diapering. (its a blast, I'll post later about that!)
Spring Semester is in full bloom!

GG and I getting ready to leave to go to MOPs today. Its our first meeting of the semester and we haven't been since she was like 7 months old! Can you believe she is almost 7 months old? I can't. I BLOWS my mind. Today we are going to MOPs with A&C and GG's two boyfriends. ;) The two brothers will have a tough time fighting over this child in the future, I think. ;)

As for the life of a single mom...it has its moments. I've been really busy with the ministry at the church and God is doing a lot of great things there. I am so blessed to have such an amazing job! But its work. Lots of it! School is great, this semester I'm taking Literature, Math (Ugh!) and Political Systems....(ugh!).

Well, GG is tearing up my room while I type, so I better run. Here's a pic in the meantime!

 

 

My Dear Friend

Just one tear.

I struggle to preserve the memory.

But I remember you. I remember us.

Sippin' coffee over lined paper and books.

You were there for me and I loved you.

I bet you didn't know that, but I did.

I'd do anything to be there again, with you.

Your voice soothes my soul.

I can still feel the warmth of your arms wrapped tightly around me.

I took you for granted…and now you are gone.

I don't even know if I will ever see you again.

I miss you.

Dearly.

Make me smile again

Make me laugh out loud

Be that light for me again.

I never knew my life would change so much

And I never knew I'd miss you like this.

I'm sure you have this affect on most people you influence…

But we were great friends, and I loved you.

I know you didn't know that, but I did.

If I could go back I wouldn't.

The only thing I can do is shed one tear for us.

The time in our life when you were my true love.

I never told you that, but you were.

The time wasn't right.

The friendship was there, but the time wasn't right.

I doubt we'll meet again…

But I want you to know, I loved you.

Two Tu-Tus

Its been tu-tu mania around here while I've been putting together the girls' Christmas tu-tus. This will be their Christmas outfits for this year. They are adorable and thought I should share my creations. :)

Nay-Nay will be wearing white w/red roses....

 

GG will be wearing red w/white roses <3

I'm a little partial to the white one- I love the larger roses on the waistband, but the red one is so adorable on GG. So I have found that I adore making these little things <3 I see many more in my future. :)

Jeune Girl Crafts <3

So over a year ago I was on the search for the *perfect* little letters for my darling GG's bedroom wall. I searched and searched and finally found Jeune Girl . I ordered the most adorable hand decorated letters from her and it didn't stop there. Over the past year Meg @ Jeune Girl has supplied me with a dozen or so other delicious items which she hand made. I've ordered a couple of super cute frames, a a wooden CD holder, multiple scrapbook pages (you must check them out, so awesome) , very unique accordion scrapbooks, and she is working on Christmas pages and a Christmas frame for me right now.

I just thought I should share her site with everyone because her shop is just awesome, and so is she! She will work with any theme you want, and really strives to make you happy. Working with her is so fun and I'm always excited to see what she comes up with. I sent her a picture of GG's crib bedding and she matched it perfectly with her frame, CD holder, and name letters. They are  adorable and everyone that has seen them thinks so.

You must check her out and see what things you want to order for Christmas this year, all of her items make for amazing gifts *ahem* I loooooove her stuff, so if you are wondering what to get me for Christmas..........just kidding...(or not) but you should mosie on down to her site and take a look, I'm sure you can find something you love <3

www.jeunegirlcrafts.blogspot.com

Me.

When I look back on the past, let's say....7 years, I struggle to even recognize the person I once was. I suppose that is what they call "growing up," right? Some things change...drastically, but some things do not change at all. Some things I would never want to change.

If you know me, (and I mean know me well) you know my life and how imperfect it has been. You know all...well most of my mistakes.I have found that the past is something I used to talk about often, as if I were trying to re-live it constantly. You know the moment you have truly move forward in life, its when you stop talking about and dwelling on the past.

  

       2002                           2008

I truly look forward when I think about my life and I only see wonderful things for me in years to come.

I have accepted me for me and can not imagine having a different past then the past I lived. Hard times came and came and went. Some brought upon by own horrible choices, and some brought upon by well- life.

On the nearing eve of 2009 here is my self-assessment:

I am still a hopeless romantic
I have become an idealist, craving balance- to a fault.
I am still messy.
I love organization and organizational devices.
I am addicted to caffeine.
I do way too many things at once.
I have become painfully optimistic.
I can still get an attitude, baby. ;)
I still care deeply for people.
I really don't like animals that much (I'm sorry!)
I have become extremely content.
I still hate doing laundry.
I still procrastinate.
I have become extremely passionate about God.

I am extremely proud of my life and what I've become.

My Little Kid.

Man...she is just the cutest, little, most scrumptious, delicious, button of a kid. ;)

 

 

Eavesdropping

This is what I hear from the other side of GG's door right now.....

No! No-No....No No No........No! No. No. No no no no. No-Noooo.

and so on...

LOL, she has been saying no for the past few minutes since I put her to bed. Its hillarious and adorable. Oh yeah, she has learned how to say "no" and "mine". Its greaaaaaaat.

I had a great coversation today.

I was at the oil change place (you know the one where they give you a *free* car wash, but really just charge you an arm & a leg for the oil change?) Anyhoo, I was sitting there drinking my diet coke and along came this man and come to think of it, I never even caught his name. Anyway he was the sweetest 95 year old man I've ever met in my life and we had a great coversation. He kept apologizing for "boring" me but I really enjoyed him. It made me think of my late grandpa Paul. He was such a kind soul and I really would love to have a conversation with him. I feel like I missed out big time on his life. I really wish he was still around.

GG and I went to Gymboree this morning and had such a blast, we just started going and I think she's getting the hang of it. She loves Gymbo and loves to climb on everything. Kids have it made these days. ;o)

 

Life in Action

Life is crazy busy these days. I just can't wait until this semester is over. 15 units I wont do again soon. I was supposed to take 17 next but I've trimmed it down to 9- well, maybe 12. I have this idea that if I have a few hours left in a day I need to be filling them up with something. So, I'll work on that- 9 or 12...either way its okay.

I pretty much love my life right now. No matter what troubles I've got going on its an amazing feeling to have this awesome chick always by my side. She is hillarious these days. Sometimes we just sit and banter back and forth (she, in her baby babble) and we just crack up at each other. She really is a great kid.

My moving out plans have stretched out a little bit. I think I need to wait at least a year. My three year plan might be stretching it a little too much....I dont think any of us could make it that far. Three kids under 5 years old and three adults is way too many people in one house...

Okay- so here are the words GG says these days:

Phone
More
Milk-Milk
Hi
Eye (and points to either nose or eyes..lol)
Please
Night-Night
Church
Jesus
Hello?
Choo-choo
Agua (a-wa)
MaMa
NaNa
PaPa
Dog
Wow-wow
Ow (and she pinches herself)

Well, those are her favorite words as of late. She also is pretty darn good at giving kisses and blowing kisses- its adorable. Instead of signing "please" with her hand on her chest she signs "please" with her hand on her hip....its cute.

Single Mommas...

I'm in awe of those that have gone before me. Single moms, that is.  I'm beginning to realize how much support I receive from my friends and family and while I appreciate it so much I'm beginning to feel like I need to fly. The nest, that is. My original plan of three years staying at home with M & D sounded good but I realize that GG and I need a home of our own. We need our own space. Even if its a room that we share together- it'll be ours.

Dave Ramsey keeps telling me I'm making a bad financial decision and that I should stay and save save save. However....here's how I look at it.

I put myself here. I'm a single mom because of the choices I made. While I'm thankful for the help I've received I no longer am comfortable being supported. I work hard. Really hard. And I want to feel like what I have, I've earned. Everything. That may sound silly. But to me its not. I don't know how soon this is going to take place. I'm looking at in the next 1-6 months though. Six months would be ideal but I'm going to sit and pray on it and if a place opens up that fits us I may jump on it.

We may only be able to afford a room. But with the right roommates (I'm thinking another single mom with a young toddler) then it just might work. As long as GG has common areas to share with another child I think we'd be okay sharing a bedroom.

I'm really scared about this. I don't know exactly why. I suppose it would feel less scary if I was graduated from school and everything but the reality is that wont happen for at least two point five years. Thats too long. I'm scared about GG being completely dependent on me. I know I can do it, thats not what I'm scared of. I guess I'm just scared of the difficulties it will bring.

Well, please pray for me as I consider this new plan.

Dinner in Progress...

GG learns to eat with a spoon.

Wow...impressive...

 

Delish!

Hard work..

There goes the spoon!

 

Now for the face dive...

 

Wait...now the hands.

 

Yum.

 

Finger lickin' good.

 Best way to eat green beans...I tell ya.

  

 

I'm not gonna lie...

It makes me sad sometimes when I realize GG doesn't have a dad...

I mean- she does...but she doesn't.

I sometimes wonder how it will effect her (if at all) in her life. I want to imagine I'm enough parent for her...but I'm not sure. But I do believe that God is there to fill in the gaps that I miss along the way.

She is an angel...just an angel.

Arguing...

I am *supposed* to be writing an argumentative essay right now. You know what is the funny thing? Its about how the internet (however helpful) can cause problems ie: internet addiction, NOT GETTING THINGS DONE WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO, etc. etc....

I suppose I am speaking from real-life experience here. ;o) I am so unfocused. School work is piling up. I mean, literally piling up. On my desk, in my car, in my bags....I can't keep up. I took a test for my Astronomy class on Monday and I'll be happy if I get a 'C'. Really though, thats all I want. I'm no longer out there looking for the thrill of an 'A'. I just want to pass. Pass and be done. 15 units is just insane when you have work and baby. I don't know what I'd do without my mom helping me out with GG. However pesimistic this post sounds- I totally am going to pass all of my classes...I'm so just so behind right now that its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I work on homework all day and at the end of the day- I'm still not done and I'm still behind. *sigh*

Well...here's a pic of my sweetie girl because she makes me less stressed. (except for those moments when she is throwing herself down on the ground and frowning at me...lol)

Long Weekend....Short year.

Two birthday parties and a ton of presents later I am just plain pooped. We had a great time at GG's 1st birthday. It was a great party. Once I get all the photos together I will post a post-party blog. ;o)

Her birthday morning (yesterday) started very very early. GG woke up around 5:30am and I was totally irritated until I realized it was her birthday and I thought to myself that exactly one year prior I was up getting myself ready to go the hospital.  She was so loving  and we cuddled in bed for about a half hour exchanging kisses and hugs (she's sucha sweetie) until finally starting the day.

I can't believe a year has passed. She is turning into a little girl and it kind of makes me sad. I feel like she's just going to grow and grow and one day she wont need me anymore. I love her to death. Best thing ever is to be a mom. Life can't get any better than this.

She loves playing with babydolls. Its so adorable. She hugs them and kisses them, puts them in strollers and cradles them "to sleep." When did she grow up? Ah, she's such a darling. She's such a good girl. How did I get so lucky??

I'm terribly tired...

I went to bed sometime after 3am last night. I was so wound up all day yesterday running around like a madwoman....I think it just took me a long time to settle down. Yesterday was our first *Tuesday Night* bible study. The adults are doing a study of James and I'm with the children doing their own curriculum. Only 5 kids showed up. While it was pretty calm and easy...I was a tad bit bummed. I hope more show up next week. Tonight I'm sitting in during the first college-age "youth group reunion" group. As much as I love those kids I'm just so tired today and I'd love to stay home and get some homework done.

Nay Nay woke me up like 5 times this morning from about 6:15 am through 7:50 am when I finally woke up. She refuses to go to daycare and so I'm staying with her on my days off until she starts pre-school next week. I'm so excited she's starting pre-school. She's never been and I know she'll love it. Plus, Kinder is next year so this little darling must get prepared! So anyhow, I've got a day full of girly things. As I type the girls are playing "princesses". Its darling. I love that Nay Nay is claiming GG is "tired" and needs a nap because "she's taking my things..." *sigh*